Fellow travellers, up until today I have had mixed feelings about the arrival of Oprah Winfrey in this country. Of course, her show is watched by countless people all over the globe. Australian politicians and business people are therefore confident that this massive exposure will bring many more visitors to our shores, helping our economy hugely. Hence the overwhelmingly supportive media coverage.

But being a champion of Gaia, I am concerned about the effect on our delicate natural environment. It is already stretched to breaking point. The thought of all those extra carbon spewing jets heading our way disturbs me deeply ...

On the other hand, Oprah is definitely a sassy sister who is politically switched on. And she has certainly subverted (or rather inverted) the dominant paradigm of wealth in America. By being an African American woman in the same financial league as many appalling white peenie-wavers, she is an inspiring role model to many.

These two considerations have left me feeling a certain ambivalence about her visit Down Under over the last few days. But now, after reading about a particular issue pertaining to her visit I can confidently say I am 100% on her side! Oprah, yougogirl!

You see, at the behest of Oprah's production team a Melbourne shop has removed golliwog dolls so as not to offend Ms Winfrey and her party when they visit the centre.

Of course, reactionary right wingers think this is being too precious and "politically correct". And even some on the left, who are tired of US imperialism in all its forms, are a bit annoyed that we should be kowtowing to what is essentially an American perception of the dolls and what they represent.

But really, the two views are just entirely unacceptable. Just the mere thought of a golliwog doll is an affront to human dignity (and I don't mean that in a speciesist way). The idea that now, in the year 2010, such grotesque "toys" can still be shamelessly bought and sold is simply beyond belief. If I had my way golliwogs would be banned outright, and all those who sell them thrown in jail. Anyone who ever bought one, or even received one as a present would be named and shamed - or required to undergo some serious cultural sensitivity training at the very least.

And for anyone who thinks that I am overestimating the power of their social toxicity, then look no further than Jeff Kennett. Making light (and white!) of the matter, the revolting racist patriarch has facetiously urged a golliwog rebellion.

And what is his argument?

"I love golliwogs. My godmother made and presented to me on my birth Jacko, who is my golliwog. I still have it, I have a basket full of golliwogs."

And that's exactly why they should be banned. His lifelong possession of these appalling symbols has no doubt contributed to his obvious racism. It probably even had a lot to do with his decision to join the Liberal Party, surely one of the last bastions of white male privilege in the country.

So anyone who thinks that this whole issue is all just a bit silly and then goes out and buys one of these dolls to give to their child remember this: By doing so you may well be creating the next Liberal Premier of Victoria.

For most of you that would certainly be a terrifying thought, and one to ponder if ever you enter a store like Dafel Dolls and Bears Shop in Block Arcade, Melbourne.

Appalling. Just appalling.