Yesterday, Prime Minister Julia Gillard committed to the introduction of a carbon tax.This brave, visionary pledge to the planet was verballed into a betrayal of the Australian people by the usual conga-line of Gaia-phobic right-wingers.

I mean, really. Why are they so scrupulous all of a sudden? Remember when Tony Abbott admitted that what he said wasn't always the "gospel truth". That was so ironic because clearly that was one of the few times he actually was being straight up. They were all defending him then, lauding his "honesty" and "candour".

But politicians always lie. That's what politics is. We all know how stupid the great unloofahed are. They really don't know what's good for them. If politicians believed the electorate deserved the facts then they'd just never get elected.

Really, this truth obsession! It's so absolutist, so conservative isn't it? But as we on the left all know so well, everything is contextual and relative. It's all shades of grey, and our job as activists is to convert it to shades of green instead. There is no absolute truth - well, at least none that we humans can hold claim to. Only Gaia Herself knows whether it exists, and if so, what it is.

The real question for voters to ask is: who has the most environmentally friendly policies? What's the point of telling the "truth" when you don't have a planet to tell it on? Hmm?

Abbott is a planet raper and a misogynous worshipper of a false god (not to mention a budgie-smuggling pugilist). His lies are always told to inflict maximum suffering on women, minorities, and indigenous flora and fauna.

Prime Minister Gillard, on the other hand, while still part of a mainstream political party, is at least open to more enlightened policies on account of her special relationship with the Greens.

And it is this that has finally borne fruit. We now have a carbon tax. Oh, joy! Joy and cat dancing!

This is a great thing for Australia, and the world. China and India will surely follow suit, and Gaia will smile upon us. The very fact that the pledge has been made will result in less frequent extreme weather events. Just you wait and see.

This is why I fully support "Ju-liar" Gillard and her carbon tax "lie". Her minor moral readjustments were not only acceptable, they were brave and principled and should be applauded.

(And if you want to be really pedantic about it she wasn't really lying, anyway. She said "there will be no carbon tax under the government I lead", remember. Well, the Libs keep telling us that she's not the real leader - Bob Brown is. So if you take that view on it, technically she perpetrated no falsehood. And the accusation that she did is the bigger untruth. So, there you have it. Even by the Liberal Party's own standards, she's still being more honest than they are, even when she's not. Aren't they just a total disgrace?)