Fellow travellers, I'm sure that many of you share my disappointment over the recent Murdoch hearings. It looked like we might have finally had the Evil Emperor on the ropes! But sadly, it was not to be. There seems to be a widespread feeling that he acquitted himself well. And then there was that foam pie "attack" on him by comedian and activist "Jonnie Marbles". That has resulted in even more sympathy for the old tyrant.

But was the attack genuine, fellow travellers? As we on the left know only too well, eeevil capitalists have vast resources at their disposal, and have long been known to manipulate events to suit their diabolical agendas. Take the framing of Lee Harvey Oswald, for example, or the "decapitation" of Nick Berg by "Islamic terrorists".

Much has been made about how quickly Wendi Deng leapt to her feet to "protect" her husband. I have watched the replays of the incident over and over again, and after much forensically detailed and completely objective analysis I have come to the conclusion that her reaction was unusually swift. She clearly had prior knowledge of the man's appearance on the scene.

Similarly, the police reaction was unusually slow. Of course right-wingers are claiming this was due to the bad training and general incompetence of these "plods". But watch the video. It's pretty clear that they delayed their reactions for fear of spoiling the theatre of Deng's robust "defence". They were obviously in on it -- as were the police who let Jonnie Marbles into the building in the first place.

Then there is the attacker's history. He's been widely reported as having links to the activist group UK Uncut. But that's just the kind of thing we would expect from such a "ratbag" isn't it? He is also a comedian. Well of course! He fits the stereotype perfectly, doesn't he? A little too perfectly, any rational person would surely suspect ...

Remember also that "Jonnie Marbles" is merely a persona created by Jonathan May-Bowles. That hyphenated name sounds a little posh, doesn't it? Hardly a name suited to the working class hero that he makes himself out to be.

And remember that this was the same Jonathan May-Bowles who attended this school near Slough. Readers will note with alarm that it is a Catholic school. And we know what sort of pro-capitalist indoctrination occurs in such places, don't we fellow travellers, hmm? Not only love of God, but also love of Mammon!

The issue is beyond doubt. The seemingly random attacker was actually a small cog in a vast conspiracy designed to create sympathy for Murdoch. And it's a conspiracy that has succeeded completely.

This is disturbing, fellow travellers. Deeply, deeply disturbing. Still, it's just the kind of thing we've come to expect from this utterly diabolical man and his appalling henchpeople. Murdoch really will stop at nothing in his relentless quest for world domination.