Fellow travellers, as you well know I abhor violence. But I have to admit that in some cases it is justified. Here is a case in point: That cruel capitalist nation South Korea has decided to provoke atheist, communist North Korea by lighting up a giant Christmas tree near the border.

As one who is regularly driven to nausea by the orgy of greed and consumerism that is Christmas in Australia, I certainly know where my fellow travellers in Pyongyang are coming from.

Not only is this a case of religious bigotry; it's also economic. You see, while North Korea often has power outages, the capitalist south has electricity to burn!

Of course, there's a lie routinely propagated in the Western media that these power shortages are the result of the "Hermit Kingdom's" ailing command economy. But I have reason to believe that they are actually the result of the North Korean government's environmentally friendly policies. They are setting a fine example of how to lower an entire nation's carbon footprint. Yet they are met with disdain from the West, and outright provocation from across the border.

That's why I hope the South Koreans cop a ferocious barrage of missiles for their cruel, Gaia-phobic act. You see when you love the planet, anything is justified.