Fellow travellers I am sure that you are all as deeply appalled by recent developments regarding Labor's ban on nuclear power as I am. It looks like Julia may actually allow a debate about whether they should allow it. This is horribly, terrifyingly irrational, fellow travellers!

And this argument that if they can debate gay marriage, then they should also be allowed to debate nuclear power is highly specious (as well as speciesist). I mean, gay marriage is an extremely important issue that is relevant to all our lives, and ultimately the fate of the planet. We will never be able to combat global warming fully until all minorities, including sexual ones, are treated fairly. After all, Gaia is a sassy sister, and She weeps at the thought of such appalling discrimination. How can the planet be healed when its creator is so distressed?

Appalling, peenie waving patriarchs say that nature is "red in tooth and claw". But they are merely projecting their own inner violence onto Her. The only way that nature is "red" is in the sense that Gaia is a socialist.

Look at the natural world. See how equally resources are distributed. Observe how harmonious it is, and how love and compassion pervade all pristine environments. Admire the lack of struggle; the ease with which Gaia's joyous creatures frolic and gambol across the earth!

We need to take that natural, loving energy and use it to heal society - so that society can then heal nature in return. And that's why we should allow gays and lesbians to marry. Then once that is achieved, we must allow marriage between species. I mean, how can animals have equal rights unless they have the right to marry, and marry whomever (from whichever species) they so desire?

But back to nuclear power: Some on the Labor right are arguing for a shift in policy on the grounds that nuclear is the cleanest, cheapest way to combat global warming. Have you ever heard such evil nonsense?

I am reminded of that AmeriKKKan soldier saying "we had to destroy the village in order to save it". This new pro-nuclear argument is like saying "we must rape the earth in order to heal it"! It makes no sense at all, fellow travellers. No sense at all.

Still, all is not lost. Julia is a wise woman (and a red one at that). So there is a strong chance that she will consult with her inner Gaia and ultimately decide against a policy shift. Still, it's distressing that other possibilities are even being considered. She, we and the nation just shouldn't be put through any of this.

Democracy. Who needs it?