Fellow travellers, I'm sure that you are all sick and tired of climate change deniers insisting that those determined to stop the impending global catastrophe actually want to take humanity "back to the Stone Age" and "make us all cavemen". This is a contemptible and utterly false accusation! (But even if it weren't, what would be wrong with living more in harmony with nature, like our distant ancestors did?)

In any case, the many reich-wingers in the media and politics never miss a chance to promote this vicious lie. That's why I was immediately suspicious when I read about the arrest of the "Bondi Caveman", who is now being charged with rape. I know of this deeply wise and serene individual. And I simply cannot conceive of him committing such a heinous act.

He has shunned Western "civilization" and all its soul-sapping demands to live close to nature instead. As we all know, women are closer to nature than males are. So it is axiomatic that those rare men who are spiritually close to nature are also deeply in touch with their feminine sides. Therefore, they simply cannot commit sex crimes against women.

Obviously someone very powerful has framed him. But who? Who would have most to gain from associating the noble life of this peaceful "cave man" with brutal criminality?

Could it be someone in the Liberal Party? That is a possibility ... Perhaps it is Leader Malcolm Turnbull? He is the Member for Wentworth, after all ...

Somehow, I doubt it. Although still an appalling capitalist, he does seem to have an enlightened attitude to the environment. He endorses decisive action on climate change, and seems to have converted many in his party to his way of thinking. So it is unlikely that he - or any one of today's prominent Liberals - is the culprit.

Perhaps it could be someone from the Liberal Party of the past? That's more likely. And there's one who seems more suspicious than most: John Howard.

Think about it, fellow travellers: The Master of Evil certainly has the means, the motive, and nowadays the time to pull of such a diabolical act of deception! I think it's a lay-down misere that he is behind this conspiracy.

But what do you think, fellow travellers? Is it him. Or could it be someone from the mainstream media, which is now so utterly dominated by conservatives?